Extreme compound interest

 

A letter has just come to light following the announcement by Warren Buffet that he is to give most of his fortune to the Gates Foundation. It is from Auric Goldfinger!

nb: the maths is right, but the rest...

Auric Goldfinger esq
Centre for World Domination Studies
Dark side of the Moon
M1 001

Dear Mr Bond

You thought that you had defeated me, but you are wrong!

I have now embarked on a scheme so brilliant in its genius that all the world will be in thrall to me without my having to feed anyone to the Piranhas. Although I could do that anyway for old times' sake.

How will I achieve this, I hear you ask in your clipped English accent set against the sound of shaking Martinis and the turn of the roulette wheel? All evil genii require recognition for their cunning plans and I am no exception. I will therefore tell you, secure in the knowledge that there is nothing you can do to stop me - because everything I shall do is perfectly legal! Bill Gates look on and weep.

$100 billion of my existing fortune is invested through a charitable foundation which, under the laws of Lichtenstein, has to distribute only 0.5% of its income in order to retain its charitable, and therefore non tax-paying, status. Over the next 100 years with a net annual return of only 5%, the fund would grow to $13.15 trillion simply by reinvesting all the interest.

My investment minions can and will (think Piranhas!) obtain a much better return than this. If they obtain an average of, say, 8% over the 100 years, then the fund will grow to $219.9 trillion. And at that point, I shall have sucked up the larger proportion of all the available money in the world - I will be able to lend it to whomever I wish on whatever terms I choose to dictate. Your government's piggy-bank will be as nothing, Mr Bond!

But you may say that there is an obvious flaw in my scheme, for how will I enjoy the benefit of world domination in 100 years time? Easy-peasy as you Brits say. I shall be in stasis in a secret location with stand-by generators and a direct debit from my Bank to the electricity company to take advantage of their direct debit discount, thus maximising the money available for investment. Look after the cents and the dollars will look after themselves, as my dear old mother used to say, before she was shot while trying to take power in Albania.

And so, good-bye Mr Bond - for ever!!

Yours sincerely

Auric Goldfinger (Mr)

note: The Centre for World Domination Studies is an equal opportunities employer.

Home    Caro Diario   Philosophy   Who am I?      Links